Another exciting week of football is upon us. Because I am on Fall Break (FALL BREAK WOO WOO!!) we’re just to cut to the chase and get to the money making picks. So yet again, LETS WIN SOME MONEY!!
Steelers -6 over TITANS
I didn’t see this game. I had no interest in seeing this game. I’m not even sure if they really played this game. What I do know is that I’m not betting against the home team on these Thursday night games anymore. Fool me like five times….shame on me.
FALCONS -9.5 over Raiders
The Raiders secondary should be called the thirty-secondary, because that’s what they rank in every defensive passing stat.*
*Special thanks to Jay Leno for helping me write these witty jokes.
Bengals -1 over BROWNS
Soooo let me get this straight. The Bengals are over .500 and they’re only giving one point to the Browns? As a Giants fan I can say the Browns/Giants game last week was like trying to wrestle a baby after you gave it a knife.
Rams +4.5 over DOLPHINS
I was watching Ace Venture last night, and I noticed that the story revolves around a missing gem on a 1985 Dolphins AFC championship ring. Do teams really give out rings for coming in second place? If that’s the case, do the Chiefs get a participation ribbon after every season?
Colts +3.5 over JETS
Mark Sanchez? Giving more than a field goal? Yeah give me that all day.
EAGLES -3 over Lions
Thank God the Lions are back to their old sucking ways. I have cherished traditions on Thanksgiving. Dinning with the family, eat all the dark meat before anyone else can get to it, staring in disgust at the cranberry sauce, but nothing is more traditional than seeing the Lions get blown out in the early game. Honestly that’s what brought the pilgrims and Indians together in the first place.
BUCCANEERS -4 over Chiefs
Hey! Who else is excited for the Brady Quinn Era!?
Cowboys -3.5 over RAVENS
This is a no lose pick for me. If the Cowboys win, then I’m right. If the Ravens win, the Cowboys lose. If the Ravens win by a field goal and I still cover, then I got my cake and I’m eating it too.
CARDINALS -4 over Bills
Uh oh. Bills fans, I’m not saying it’s time to abandon ship for the season, but you’re going want to walk calmly yet briskly to the life boats.
Patriots -3 over SEAHAWKS
Listen I get it, Seattle is a tough place to play. The crowd gets loud. That’s fine. They’re not going to be as loud after Russell Wilson throws his second interception. The guy is doggie paddling in the deep end. (In this analogy Tom Brady = Michael Phelps)
Giants +7 over 49ERS
This line has moved up four points from +3. Yet again we look to the Ten Commandments of Gambling, which was brought down from Mt. Vegas by Jimmy the Greek. “#3: When a line changes by more than 3 points, thou shall go against the flow.”
Vikings EVEN over REDSKINS
PICK UM! PICK UM! I’m going to take the team that has the non –concussed QB. Speaking of which, I just want to point out that a well know law school blogger made a prediction along those lines only three weeks ago:
“Washington, I hope you enjoy him (RGIII) for the next three weeks he stays healthy.”
Aww, don’t worry D.C. you still have the Nationals, I mean the Capitals; I mean hmm let’s just move on.
TEXANS -3 over PACKERS
Do you think Indiana Jones became a devout Christian after all his adventures? Think about it. He discovered the Ark of the Covenant and witnessed its face melting power. Then he discovers the Holy Grail and its miracle life giving abilities. You would think after that he would stop his womanizing and drinking and become one of those people in NYC with signs claiming he end is near and demanding people repent.
“I’ve seen the power of God first hand!” he’d yell at people as they walk by. Meanwhile everyone around him thinks he’s a lunatic. And why were those Nazis so intent on getting Jewish artifacts anyway?
Let’s just get back to the picks….
Broncos EVEN over CHARGERS
ANOTHER PICK UM! What an exciting week. I’m taking the Broncos in this one because I don’t pick teams that lose to the Saints. I just don’t. Granted San Diego was absolutely robbed by the refs at the end, but it shouldn’t even be close. Payton Manning knows what to do when you get the lead….
….SWEEP THE LEG!
Last Week: 7 – 7
This Year: 38 – 35 – 4