Welcome back to another exciting week of NFL lines. Before we begin I want to talk about my favorite sport – Basketball. While each week I make uneducated guess on these NFL lines, I actually follow basketball pretty deeply. I know what I’m taking about when it comes to the NBA see exhibit A: http://jurispublici.richmond.edu/default.php?pageType=2&docId=45464&docIssue=2012-03-15. I’m well aware that not everyone is down with the professional basketball, so I keep my fandom to myself for the most part. However, I thought I would help you loyal readers out a little bit and give you some actually useful gaming advice in the way of NBA over/unders. These are the number of wins Vegas expects a team to win and you have to bet that they will get more or less wins.
Atlanta Hawks OVER 42.5 games
Let’s take a look at the Hawks division for a moment shall we; they got the Jaguars of the NBA in the Charlotte Bobcats, the ever failing Washington Wizards, and the we’re going to tank from game #1 Orlando Magic.
Orlando Magic UNDER 24.5
Speaking of the Magic….
Dallas Mavericks UNDER 45.5
This team isn’t even going to above .500. At this point Dirk would be better off playing with the German national team roster.
Okay enough with the hoops, on to week 8. LET’S WIN SOME MONEY!
VIKINGS -6.5 over Buccaneers
I’m still going with my take the home team on Thursday night theory. It’s not my fault Vikings decided they didn’t want to show up at all. Watching this game, I wanted to set the Vikings offensive coordinator on fire! When you have a running back that is averaging 8.2 yards per a carry, you don’t have Christian Ponder throw 35 times.
Bears -7.5 over Panthers
People need to get off of Cam Newton’s back. This whole team sucks; it’s not all his fault.
Chargers -2.5 over BROWNS
The Browns have been showing signs of life lately. It’s time the Chargers pull the cord.
Seahawks +2.5 over LIONS
One more point about the NBA. What are the odds David Stern is the mastermind behind the NHL lockout? Somehow he’s destroying his sport’s winter rival from behind the scenes; his last evil genius conspiracy before riding off into the sunset.
Packers -14.5 over Blaine Gabbert and the Failure Brigade®
I actually was going to pick the Jags in this game, but then I read Blaine Gabbert is going to be healthy enough to play this week. The Brigade just isn’t the same without the fearless Colonel Gabbert.
Colts +3.5 over TITANS
Finally an underdog!
RAMS +7.5 over Patriots (Game is in London)
Can we briefly discuss this practice of sending over NFL games to England? I get it; Roger Goodell wants the NFL to have an international following. It’s a charitable act; these poor European’s are stuff with soccer, water polo, and handball. It’s our duty as a more civilized culture to share with them the invention of a sport that doesn’t end in a tie half the time. Do we really need to send over this game though? You know the Chiefs and the Raiders are playing this week, no one is going to notice if they get shipped across the ocean. The British would probably prefer that game anyway, with all the punting that is going to take place. (It will remind them of their beloved Futbol).
Dolphins +2.5 over JETS
Each week I pick against the Jets, and each week they find a way to cover the spread. I don’t can how many games you backdoor cover Sanchez! I’ll never ever pick you!
Falcons +3 over EAGLES
I was all prepared to pick the Eagles this week. The Falcons have barely won the last few weeks, and you always want to buy low and sell high on teams. But then I took a look at this line… The Eagles are favored! What!? Didn’t they just fire their defensive coordinator!? Doesn’t Andy Reid use his thick blubber to protect himself from hungry polar bears!?
STEELERS -4.5 over Redskins
I really wanted to go with RGIII in this game. But the skins lost Fred Davis, and they have the worst pass defense in the league. The worst!
Raiders -1.5 over CHIEFS
I heard a girl, two towns over, once watched and entire Raiders/Chiefs game from beginning to end. Seven days later she was dead. Coincidence? Urban Legend? Maybe, but do you want to take that chance?
DALLAS +2.5 over Giants
As we touch on in previous weeks, I have decided to always pick the Cowboys so no matter what happens in the game I’m a winner. If the Cowboys lose by one, I’m a double winner!
BRONCOS -6 over Saints
What the hell is the over under for this game!? Is there any way that Payton Manning doesn’t throw for over 300 yards? There’s going to be some much scoring in this one, it’s going feel like a failure whenever a team settles for a field goal.
49ers -7 over Cardinals
The problem with making these picks on Friday is that I can’t take advantage of the stupid lines Vegas puts out on Monday. This line started out as minus four. No matter, as long as the Alex Smith doesn’t get in the way this should be a double digit victory.
Last Week: 5 – 7- 1
This Season: 48 – 51 – 5