Hey there! We’re back for week 16 just in time. I have to go participate in the annual tree genocide later today so let’s make this short and sweet. LET’S WIN SOME MONEY!
COWBOYS -1 over Saints
Somehow Vegas still believes in the Saints. They’re going down with that ship.
PACKERS -10.5 over Titans
At this point in the season you always pick the teams that have to win over the teams that don’t have anything to play for.
Colts -5 over CHIEFS
I just don’t….this is too easy.
Bills +5 over DOLPHINS
These teams seem just about equal so I say take the points and hold your breath.
Chargers +2.5 over JETS
Let’s all thank the Jets for one of the most magically bad seasons in the history of football. It was a masterpiece of incompetence and blunders. We shall miss you Sanchez.
Redskins -4.5 over EAGLES
***Jinxing powers activate***
STEELERS -3 over Bengals
Bengals? Playoffs? Hahaha, that’s a good one!
BUCCANEERS -3 over Rams
Even the players don’t care about this game.
Raiders +9.5 over PANTHERS
No one is a bigger Cam Newton supporter than me, but 9.5 is a whole lot of points.
Blaine Gabbert Chad Henne and the Failure Brigade +14.5 Patriots
Chad Henne can backdoor cover a two touchdown spread. He was born to back door cover this spread.
TEXANS -7.5 over Vikings
I feel like Wade Philip game plan goes like this:
Plan A: Tackle Adrian Peterson
Plan B: No really we need to stop A.P.
Browns +11.5 over BRONCOS
Old man Weeden is offended by this line. He hasn’t been this insulted since Jesus told him there wasn’t room for a 13th apostle.
Bears -6.5 over CARDINALS
Again you take the team that has to win over the team that no longer cares.
RAVENS +2.5 over Giants
All of New York is hoping Joey Flacco is going to be his usual Joey Flacco this week.
Niners +2 over SEAHAWKS
That’s right. Colin Catnip is coming out of Quest Field with a win. Unless we get a replacement ref sighting.